The Beginning

UGH! She thinks as a tiredness so overwhelming and complete settles over her.  It’s the weight of life, the weight of all the should be’s, could haves and would have been.  It’s an enormously heavy weight.  The weight of all of society’s ideas, of her family's ideas, her friend’s ideas, even the weight of strangers’ ideas.  Ideas and expectations all weighing her down until she can barely hold her head up, barely open her eyes, barley hold onto a vanishing thought as she mentally files through all of the information and ideals put on her to better herself, to succeed, to be happy, to be.  The weight brings her down so that she doesn’t think that she will ever be able to just be.

        She thinks of those calm and wistful souls who practice yoga daily and echo the ruminations of the Buddha as they flow through their days.  Seemingly so secure and full of light and positive energy, are the supernatural?  Do they live on the same planet as she does, she wonders to herself.  How can they seem so light and free?  Do they have a trick, a secret that allows them to just be?  If so, share it please, she thinks, what about me?

        Her thoughts race around inside her head.  Don’t I get to feel that flow? She wonders.  I chase it and chase it but never see the end.  In looking I probably lost it, trying to look outwards for something that can only be found within.  But isn’t that what we all do for all of our lives?  We search the world for feelings and answers when really we can search endlessly throughout the outer plane in which we live never finding an answer; until we turn inside to search ourselves and search to find what we need within.