Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Love as Life

I saw this written on an old bridge in a nearby state park.  So many people have hiked these trails and left pieces of themselves on this bridge for all who follow to enjoy.  Many of the thoughts left to linger on this wood touched upon a part of my soul, none more so than this.  Love requires nothing- only people to feel and grow from it.  I hope for a day when love will be the cornerstone upon which our civilization prospers.  It seems to me that love is forgotten lately, something of stories- once dreamt of but not made for our general reality.  Poets and musicians and writers abound with ideas of only needing love- I wish that was all we needed... we need to love ourselves, we need to love each other and we need to love this amazing, beautiful ever changing earth on which we live.  When we find the love for all that bring us together maybe we can find the key to our troubles.  Love all that you can!

To See

       The time ticks by… slower and slower until it seems as if time has stopped altogether. Her chest heaves up and down, then, it too seemes to stop. She turns her head, eyes quickly scanning the shapes and contours of the room. Colors blend together as her eyes lose the focus that guides her through life. She feels the beating of her heart and knows that in truth time has not stopped, even though her world seems to have come to a grinding halt. She raises her hand in front of her eyes; they’ve stopped scanning the room and don’t even seem to see at all. She wiggles her fingers-muted colors flash before her eyes to alert her that she is able to see-but unable to really look.

       She breathes again, deeper this time. She allows her eyes to close while breathing in and keeps them closed as she breathes out. In and out, in and out, she continues to breathe while counting to 10. Her hope is that when she opens her eyes again she will see, feel and be her normal self again. In and out, in and out, as she reaches ten she breathes deep again and slowly opens her eyes.
Her lids are heavy; she raises them just the same. She feels the same, yet her vision has changed. She no longer sees clearly. Gone are the outlines holding atoms together- there are no distinct forms. There is nothing separate-only colors that bleed from dark to light- colors to represent objects previously clearly seen. Her eyes open wide in panic as she searches for familiar pieces in her room, objects that gave comfort to her life.  Her heart quickens, so does her breathing- faster and harder as fear and realization sweep over her as storm overtakes the sun. She can no longer control herself and panic engulfs her, her mind shoots questions that she fears the answers to. She doesn’t see as she did before, her new visions are startling- the colors a mess. She sees an area made up of yellows and golds and knows that is what used to be her bed. A safe and comfy place to hide- now the only spot that has held itself together. The only sense she can rely on at the moment is touch. 
       She feels the bed beneath her body. She sits up slowly. Her sight is still off so she keeps her eyes shut and tries to picture the form of her bed in her mind. Her hand smooths the covers down around her. The blanket feels the same but as she peeks through one eye she sees that it seems to be flowing through the spectrum of yellows, as if the blanket itself is breathing.
       She squeezes her eyes shut. In her mind she knows where the bed should end, she tries to confirm by sliding her hand towards the edge of the mattress. It stops where it should and she bends over and follows the angle of the mattress down to the floor. The cool touch of wood on the floor assures her, it’s there. She opens her eyes and looks down; browns and blacks, swirls cover the floor. The colors seem to be blending in endless motion yet it feels firm and in place beneath her hand. She closes her eyes again; the constant colors in motion are overwhelming her. She sits and allows her mind to grapple with the challenge she seems to be faced with today.