Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Beginning

UGH! She thinks as a tiredness so overwhelming and complete settles over her.  It’s the weight of life, the weight of all the should be’s, could haves and would have been.  It’s an enormously heavy weight.  The weight of all of society’s ideas, of her family's ideas, her friend’s ideas, even the weight of strangers’ ideas.  Ideas and expectations all weighing her down until she can barely hold her head up, barely open her eyes, barley hold onto a vanishing thought as she mentally files through all of the information and ideals put on her to better herself, to succeed, to be happy, to be.  The weight brings her down so that she doesn’t think that she will ever be able to just be.

        She thinks of those calm and wistful souls who practice yoga daily and echo the ruminations of the Buddha as they flow through their days.  Seemingly so secure and full of light and positive energy, are the supernatural?  Do they live on the same planet as she does, she wonders to herself.  How can they seem so light and free?  Do they have a trick, a secret that allows them to just be?  If so, share it please, she thinks, what about me?

        Her thoughts race around inside her head.  Don’t I get to feel that flow? She wonders.  I chase it and chase it but never see the end.  In looking I probably lost it, trying to look outwards for something that can only be found within.  But isn’t that what we all do for all of our lives?  We search the world for feelings and answers when really we can search endlessly throughout the outer plane in which we live never finding an answer; until we turn inside to search ourselves and search to find what we need within.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sacred Grove

I’ve read of sacred groves where trees are honored and all is well. The moments are calm, with spaces of serenity, of refuge and enlightenment. They are living temples which should be revered and protected. They are secure from the chaos that fights to get in; Secure from the dark that is ever following.


Groves of lush, life, born directly from the earth- a gift from the creator, life growing up, growing out, and growing down. Life flows through the roots into the ground, life flows through the trunk- strong and sturdy into our dimension, life flows from stem to branch to leaf and out- energy flowing into the heavens to be cycled again.


Endless streams of life flow all around and these trees, in the grove, balance the flow among three: the heavens, the earth, and the underworld. The energy flows up, in and out creating a vaccum of light. Light that flows through us all, light that is our life.


Seek out the grove and give thanks for the beauty, give thanks for the life, give thanks for the grove that balances all, that balances us. Seek the grove and be sturdy and strong, seek the groove and feel flow and be serene, seek the groove to revere and protect, seek the groove inside of you. Be strong, be sturdy, protect yourself and your calm. Find the grove that is calm inside of you. Embrace it and grow.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Little girl

     She sees a young girl, shiny black hair cut in a pageboy style- just like Buster Brown she thinks with a smile, sitting by herself in a yellow room.  All around her life is yellow; the walls of the room, the dressers, the shag carpeting that she loves to wiggle her toes in, the bedspread and sheets, yellow, yellow everywhere.  It’s as if someone wanted this room to beam radiantly like sunshine on a hot summer day.  The yellow is comforting, it’s warm, it’s sunny, it’s as if the yellow is the love and intense feeling pouring from our largest star, our sun.  The young girl doesn’t seem to radiate as brightly as the rest of the room, in fact she doesn’t radiate anything even resembling yellow, she’s more of a deep purple, the kind of purple tinged with blue that results from a fall or the coming of a bruise. 
     She’s crying, rocking back and forth with her arms gripping her knees to her chest.  The girl looks around her room taking in all of the yellow warmth, but not accepting it to warm her.  In fact, she wants to get away from it, she wants to run and hide.  Where could she go, she doesn’t know, she’s young, only a bit more than five and she feels all alone.  All alone in this beautifully pleasing room, feeling no warmth, no sunshine,no yellow, feeling no connection at all to the abundance of yellow, no connection to the world surrounding her. 
     She hears her name being called from downstairs.  She waits, she breathes in and out- trying to keep the tears under control.  Her name is called again.  She forcefully wipes the tears from under her eyes.  She blinks again and again forcing the tears to stop flowing.  Forcing her little mind to grasp control over herself.  Forcing herself to put on a happy face.  She slowly rises from the bed and heads toward the sound of her name.  The little girl knows that her mother is waiting, waiting for her little face to beam sunshine to her.  The girl doesn’t know if she’ll be able to do it but she walks down the stairs trying for the smile that only touches her lips, never reaching into her eyes. 

Monday, October 17, 2011

me

I sit. I go.
I drive, I walk, I talk, I see, I feel. 
I think.  I am.
I feel, I feel, I feel, I often feel too much.

I see, I see colors, I see light.
I see life all aound me.

I touch, I touch the textures of my world.
It's rough and smooth,
both hot and cold,
I hope to feel them many times,
each and every day
until I am old.

To feel the wind upon my skin,
breeze flowing thorugh my hair,
sunshine burning down upon my cheek
to live, to be
to live free
to be me